In Repair

I think when I first got home; I was very contemplative all of a sudden about my life. Now that I’ve been here for a few days, I feel kind of numb. At first I felt that I had been ripped away from the things that had surrounded me for so long, and now I just feel a little lost. I’m not really upset anymore about leaving school and work, but I’m not really happy here; I don’t live here anymore. It’s been nice to be around my family and a few of my friends, but I’m just ready to get out and do something.

I also have discovered another thing about myself. I need to stop being so emotional and wishy-washy. I need to stop allowing my imagination to get the best of me. I think I also need to stop listening to Coldplay. I didn’t think I would like it, so I started listening to some and I loved it. Now, I used to think that Death Cab was the music you should listen to if you wanted to feel like your heart was ripped from your chest and stomped on (I don’t know who would want to feel that way)– but Coldplay is a close second. But I think it’s depressing me. Maybe I should just stick with Girl Talk and Jason Mraz.

I go to Austin this week, and I’m going to stick my toes in the ocean that will be my life. I have to look for an apartment, maybe find a job, and explore Austin on my own (and with Jeff). I’m also going to try and grow up a bit this week. I’ve been feeling like some hormonal teenager for most of the summer, giving pieces of me away left and right (emotional pieces that is) – but now I’m going to lock it down.

I’m going to rip the tinge of moodiness from this blog. And I think what’s missing from my life at home is FUN.
I feel better already.